Work-life balance

It has been a long month, especially in the last two weeks. Most of it was spent working - days, nights, weekends - work was the order of my every day. During this time I asked myself, "Is this what I want my life to be? Is this worth it?" I have no qualms about working a few hours more every day or every other day, but when work takes up all my time until I'm unable to spend quality time with my girlfriend, or even spend time with friends, or have time for football, or even have a good night's sleep for that matter, then I certainly need to re-evaluate my working life.

During the early years of my career, work was almost perpetual. I've spent countless nights at the office, leaving when others were coming in for the next day. On other days, 4 hours of sleep would suffice. I'd be up and ready to take on another long day. And this I did, at times, on a daily basis...sometimes for months. The mind was willing, the body able. Nothing else really mattered.

Today, I talk about work-life balance. I want to be able to enjoy the little things that make me who I am. The body can no longer negotiate long working nights, let alone over-nighters. It takes at least a day or two to recover. Let's not even talk about a night out painting the town red. I can't even stay up long enough to last the festivities. Maybe its age, maybe I've "grown up", perhaps priorities change and with the change in priorities come a change in mindset. And when the mind's not willing, the body, more often than not, follows in tandem.

About a month ago, an ex-boss offered me a job. It took me a while to decide, but having an offer that I can consider or somewhat fall back on is a good dilemma to have. And I've decided to take up the offer. Today, after much strategy-deliberation and anxious moments prior to the chat with my current boss, I walked into his room and told him about the offer and my impending departure. It was liberating...I was relieved. I've come to understand the job, like the job (still parts and not everything my position entails), but this is a long term move. Only time will tell if this was good move on my part. Decisions are meant to be made and no matter what the outcome, I'll live with it.

Prioritising...

Lately, there seem to be a shift in my mental state. Hmmm, that sentence is somewhat misleading...I now sound as though I have a mental problem. Notwithstanding, the regurgitation of thoughts is best left unfiltered, right? Well, I'd say some discretion is warranted every now and then. Anyway, I digress.

'Mental state' were the words that came to mind. I seem to be more focused now. Even if I have a million things to do, I am now able to prioritise. Not that I wasn't able to do so before. I could, but there would always be this niggling feeling at the back of my mind, a constant annoyance which questioned whether I was 1) doing too much at a time; 2) doing too little at a time or 3) prioritising efficiently. Nowadays, I do what I think I should do first, set a target, and move on to the next. I know this may seem trivial to some, but it has always been a problem of mine.

A problem which I think is slowly but surely, fading away...

My reflection on relationships

Much has happened since my last post here. Work has been...well, work is work after all; all I intend to say is this - unjustifiable increase in intensity leads to a farewell...beckoning on the horizon.

Anyway, remember the girl I mentioned in my post on October 4th? Things between us have taken off in leaps and bounds. There is comfort, humour, laughter and what I find refreshing almost, which we don't seem to acknowledge (and don't need to), is the unspoken underlying mutual respect and appreciation we have for each other as individuals. Of course respect is a given, and everyone talks about mutual respect, etc, but few actually live up to this notion. Nonetheless, I believe having respect for and showing appreciation towards your partner for who he/she is are two pivotal keystones for a lasting and fulfilling relationship. And this I believe - my partner and I - have in abundance.

We've not known each other for very long, let alone being a couple. In fact I've been told that everything I'm experiencing right now is what one would call "new-relationship-adrenaline". I must admit it is aptly coined! Its like buying a new car, a new house or even a new gadget. We're excited, fascinated by it, eager, curious and at times can't get enough of it. Once the novelty of it all fades away, the adrenaline follows in tandem. The challenge here is to keep discovering each other, continue re-inventing ways and means to enjoy time together and each other, to have a perpetually open and connected communication line, to uphold and maintain mutual respect and to put in effort to look good for each other. I strongly believe that as long as my partner and I (it must be a mutual endeavour) and all those who are in relationships can work towards these goals, the relationship will last. More importantly, I believe these efforts will keep the "adrenaline" pumping. For the record, my observations stem from personal experiences, readings and movies (yes, movies are oftentimes excellent portrayals of life and relationships).

Having said the above, which to me is the modus operandi of a relationship, the first steps to having and building a lasting relationship are the beginning and the end. What am I talking about? Well, the beginning is when you initially get to know your partner. This is where you establish common ground - principles, values, intellectual compatibility, thought-process. The end is simple, although easier said than done - having a common goal, a common destination.

I believe I've found someone who I think is simply amazing and I can't get enough of her. She's cute, smart, sexy and all in between. I love her smile and I get lost in her eyes. I admire her independence and her love and loyalty for her family. In a nutshell, I know she's worth it!

Putting everything into perspective, I'm just taking it a day at a time. All I've mentioned above, they're actually not meant to be spoken. They are my thoughts and my feelings, things that go on in my mind and heart, but somehow, there is a need for a release, and writing to me is very liberating...the sole reason for my blog.

The long draft

OK, I've been ranting about my inability to post every night that its becoming a bore. So, rant no more. I'll just face the fact that I won't be able to write every night. This case is closed!

9.45 a.m.: And so there I was in front of my pc at work, trying to work on the draft chairman statement for the annual report of a company I was working on. 
10.45 a.m.: I don't think I budged; maybe one sentence.
12.00 p.m.: Lunch time
12:40 p.m.: Inspired, I completed one section.
2.00 p.m.: Completed another section; one more to go
3.30 p.m.: Still stuck at the third section
5.00 p.m.: Boss returns and I not done. He's probably thinking, "Why is he taking so long?"
6.00 p.m.: Pull out the last resources from my mind to complete the draft.

I'm not cut out to write facts; I'm better at regurgitating my thoughts. Or maybe I'm just plain rusty. Still, taking more than 7 hours to complete a draft that should not take more than 2 hours is unacceptable. 

Much has happened...

Again, I'm going to grumble about my long hours at work. Yes, work has not allowed me to write as much as I would have liked to. Nonetheless, I think I'm slowly but surely acclimatising, however, my lack of sharpness is something of a worry. Being rusty is a matter of sharpening the skill, being careless is something else altogether. Will endeavour to increase my concentration when it matters most. For eg, my boss mentioned 5% but I calculated 15% instead. What the hell was I thinking of? 

Work aside, I've met someone whom I think is simply fascinating. I can't put a finger on it, but there is something special about this girl that has stirred a once dormant heart. It could end up being a flash in a pan (fingers crossed), but let's just take it a day at a time, shall we? Maybe the intrigue comes from the fact that this girl is hard to read, which keeps me guessing, and the proverbial wall that does not give away much, hence keeps me wanting more. Whatever it may be, this girl is not like others I've met before. I may come across as arrogant or narcissistic, but what I'm really doing is thinking aloud. With that in mind, neither will I judge nor speculate. I will let matters take its natural course. 

A Grolsch night

Guess what? I got off work at 8pm today. Yeah, not 11pm or midnight, but 8pm. That's only 11 working hours today, not my usual 12-14 hours. It certainly feels good. As soon as I was out the office door, I knew this was a rare opportunity for me to kick back, have an ice cold beer and a proper meal. I've not had a proper meal for days. It has been "to go" for the past 2 weeks, usually consumed in front of the laptop in a hurried fashion.

And so I headed for my neighbourhood bar - a bar with great food and an excellent selection of imported beers, although mostly German and Dutch beers. However, to me, these are the best beers anyway and I would gladly pick from a selection of only German or Dutch beers. I walked in, sat at the bar. It was a relatively quiet evening considering today being a weekday but I was loving the somewhat solitary surroundings. The bartender, noticing it was me yet again, uttered "Grolsch?" I smiled at the mention of Grolsch. The name was comforting almost, suggestive; it surely took me away from my daily grind. The trademark Grolsch bottle was opened right in front of me and there I sat, looking at it in anticipation. Oh, I really love that bottle. It is one of a kind! Aesthetically pleasing...  I then enjoyed my ice-cold beer while I waited for my favourite dish to arrive. Sheer bliss!

I had one of the best dinners in a long time. Refreshing drink, delectable food, relaxing environment - what more could I ask for. Well, I could have used some company. Yet, I thoroughly enjoyed my alone time with a beer in one hand and the other hand rubbing a truly satisfied tummy :-)

This was supposed to be sent out last night. I dosed off at the laptop and woke up on my bed, 30 minutes before a meeting. And it took me 75 minutes to get to work during rush hour.

Where good times are made

I am beginning to worry about my lack of consistency with my blogging. I've meant to write every night, before bedtime, ala the teenage doctor of the late '80s/early '90s that I've mentioned before but my crazy working hours are ruining my plans. I need to find another way. Time to strategise!

I almost forgot its my mom's birthday this weekend and so I've been somewhat occupied with trying to find the ideal place to have a nice family dinner. After much asking-around, searching on the internet and browsing through a plethora of food blogs (there are sooooooo many food blogs out there!), I found it. Its old and rustic and its a place where my family used to dine at least 15 years ago. Apparently, the place has had a "facelift" and the menu expanded. And judging by the restaurant's tagline "Where Good Times Are Made", I'm sure some awesome memories will be made come Sunday night.

Public holidays

This was supposed to go out last night, but I dosed off at the pc.

Another busy day at the office. Fortunately, I was able to leave early, beat traffic, have a nice dinner, buy groceries and be home before 10pm. Not bad at all!

Its a public holiday tomorrow (today). I'm sure many are awaiting another day to sleep in, laze around or just hang out. I read, last week, in the newspaper. A journalist wrote about Malaysia having too many holidays and how these holidays affect the productivity and competitiveness of Malaysia. Is it really a cause for concern? On average, a typical working Malaysian will have 12 days of leave from public holidays. Add that number to the average number of days for annual leave of 18 and that gives you 30 days. That is one whole month! Now imagine those who are given up to 30 days annual leave. They have a whooping 42 days to do as they please.

However, this is what I think. Yes, we Malaysians have holidays in abundance. But we also work our butts off. 12-hour days are a norm. So are 60-hour weeks. So having a month to kick back is not a luxury at all. In fact, I think it is necessary for us to avoid going mental. People in countries such as Australia or New Zealand rarely work after 6pm. I think it is actually a policy not to work past official working hours. Work-life balance are given great importance in countries like these.

Therefore, I wonder what the fuss about Malaysia having too many public holidays is all about. To me, its definitely warranted!

A 14-hour day

So much for wanting to write every night. 14-hour-days at the office doesn't help at all. All I want to do once I'm back home is shower and sleep. Hence, I've set my phone to ring just before midnight every day, as a reminder to pen down my daily happenings. I think that'll work...unless I fall asleep on the couch or on the can or while blogging. Which has happened by the way - all three instances. Its 1am but I can't sleep because I am so friggin' awake! And I need to be at the office at 8am. Looks like tomorrow's strategy is "How to not look like a zombie." Time to find a way to get sleepy. On the can perhaps? 

...and the documenting begins

The memory of everything that has happened in my life is in my head. But sometimes, letting everything out from the head can be just so damn liberating (no pun intended). And so I begin this journey, or endeavour, if you will...of documenting my life in the form of a blog. I hope it becomes a daily ritual, following in the footsteps of a certain teenage doctor in the late '80s/early '90s plus the Technicolor of course :-). Life in Technicolor. Which reminds me of a Coldplay song...hmmm

A rather typical day at the proverbial office. The weather wasn't typical though. Wet, cool and overcast. The kind of weather which makes us want to cuddle in bed and proliferate. Did I just say that? Hmmm, not a bad idea at all. But I didn't. I watched a dvd instead. Brilliant movie! If only I had watched it earlier. Better late than never they say.

I ended the day at the cinema. What a lousy movie it was. So I guess the day was a tale of two movies - one grossly underrated and the other over publicised. 

I'm getting tired. I think I'll call it a night now. I think I should start a routine of going to bed at the same time every night. Having a bedtime-range of between 10pm-3am is not good for the body, mind and hair. Yeah, I'm balding. Is there a correlation between the lack of sleep and hair loss?

Good night!