My history of rambling

The last 7 posts are links to my other blog or should I say my shortly-lived attempt at a blog. I've not made a post there since August 2010. The idea of that blog was premised on a more serious interpretation of everyday experiences. But hey, not all experiences are serious right? Hence, I felt the scope of that blog was just too narrow and perhaps that eventually led to its premature demise. I then began working on this blog and kept the other with the idea of posting more serious thoughts there periodically. Eventually, I felt that a blog is what a blog is - an avenue for verbal diarrhea, be it serious, funny or down right sarcastic. Its expressive and meant to be liberating and having 'blog rules' was the antithesis of what my plans for a blog was. This blog then became my main and only blog for writing, and as the name suggests...to ramble away.

Correlations

The Curious Corium: The correlation between experience, instinct, regr...: This post is a tad serious but it has been something I have been thinking about for quite a while now. Bear with me, read the post and who...

Details in the Fabric

The Curious Corium: Details in the Fabric: What a brilliant song! You won't realise its depth unless you've listened to it a few times and pay close attention to its lyrics....

Change!

The Curious Corium: Change!: [Earlier this morning, @ 5.30 a.m.] Have you experienced this before? You're in deep sleep, probably in the REM cycle of your sl...

Random thoughts

The Curious Corium: Random thoughts: [An old post - July 30th, 2010]   Do we naturally have preferences when choosing a partner? Or are preferences something we inev...

Who am I?

The Curious Corium: Who am I?: [An old post - August '09] A nice cosy Saturday afternoon with crisp air and an overcast sky - an enchanting day to say the least. Oh...

Impromptu

The Curious Corium: Impromptu: [An old post - June '09] I'm in my reminiscing best - resulting in my need to speak out, to look for an avenue for "verba...

An old flame

The Curious Corium: An old flame: [An old post - January '09] You're working really hard on your paper/ assignment/ office work/ etc... you then decide to tak...

Being perplexed

A part of me feels like I've never really given my best in anything I've done. I wonder if this is true. On second thought, I do think its true. Giving my best is part of me wanting to change - changing from the complacent procrastinator that I am - to someone who gives a damn and takes action. However, that change can only manifest itself if there was a lot more doing and a lot less thinking. I've done the difficult bit though. The hardest part about change is being honest with yourself and being able to recognise and acknowledge the need for change. This I have done a while back. But why hasn't there been any change? Why do I feel that I'm regressing rather than progressing? This leaves me perplexed. 

This summer I've decided to give my all in two aspects of my life that I have control of - one being a career change and delving into what I'm passionate about and the other being my relationship with my girlfriend. Honestly, I think these are the two aspects of my life which I've invested a lot of time and effort in, or in other words, aspects in which I can safely say I have been giving and continue to give my best. 

Nonetheless, therein lies the problem. Why haven't I experienced success in my career change? Its disheartening. Here I am thinking, "Hey, you've never really given your best and that's probably the reason for your lack of achievements. Perhaps if you could just give your all, results will start to show." But I've not seen the results, at least not in my career change. My relationship with my girlfriend is good and stable as we have been able to negotiate the peaks and troughs. But its this career aspect, which I feel if not resolved soon enough, will  have a damaging effect on all the hard work my girlfriend and I have put into our relationship.

So just how will the issues with my career affect my relationship? Imagine you've had a hard day at work. This obviously affects your mood, your positivity and perhaps your general well-being. Now imagine if you've been having a hard day at work every day for the past 3 months? Well, you become generally unhappy and its unfortunate that the people around you will be affected as well. In my case, my girlfriend has taken it upon her that she's not doing enough to help me, which is not the case at all. In fact, she doesn't even need to help me because its not her issue to resolve. Yet, she's helped me in every way possible and anyone would be more than happy and grateful to have such a supportive partner. But the truth is, my currently unsuccessful stint at a career change is affecting her and us. Therefore, I am perplexed. I concentrate my efforts with the hope of a positive change but all seem to be unraveling before my eyes.

Our best years...

Sometimes we hit a plateau and remain in status quo until an externality forces us off the prevailing path. A plateau is not necessarily bad as it could simply mean we are weighing out our options for the next move. But stay too long on a single path and a plateau can easily turn into regression. This is when we become too comfortable in the state we're in; we become complacent, come up with excuses and try our best to actually not get out of the rut we're in. We become defensive and fail to acknowledge our deteriorating state of affairs. Often times its as simple as not wanting or failing to grow up! Sometimes its us refusing to wake up from an over-extended slumber. 

Nonetheless, if we are constantly aware of the state we're in, it'll only be a matter of time before we scale new heights. This is the breakout from resistance!

The key to this is to be always aware and acknowledge that changes for the better need to be made. Certainly changes may not happen overnight, but having the awareness is key, together with the belief that we could and should always strive to improve.

I was having a random conversation with a friend not too long ago, and I said in passing that "my best years are behind me." But she replied, with the sort of faith, belief and assurance that all of us should have, "No, your best years are yet to come."